Battling My Own Mind

Battling My Own Mind 

Today, I want to write about my insecurities; the ones that have been troubling me for a while. This is a journal, after all. xD

As I mentioned in my first blog, The Morning of Hope, I’m on a mission to become the fittest version of myself. It’s my top priority, and while it has unlocked many benefits, it has also unearthed new insecurities.

At the core of it all, one thought lingers: the fear that I’m not working as much as I used to.

The Shift from Constant Hustle

For the past three years, after recovering from my accident, I worked relentlessly. Twelve to fourteen hours a day, non-stop.
I was rebuilding, reclaiming, and restoring everything I had lost.

I was always running, constantly pushing forward, without fully understanding why.

This year, I decided to shift that energy—to prioritize my health, to change my lifestyle, to run for a different reason. However, no matter how accepting you are of change, it always brings chaos.

My 90-hour workweeks dropped to 40. As expected, my earnings took a hit too. Financially, I had prepared for this shift. Emotionally, though, I wasn’t sure how ready I was.

Battling My Own Thoughts

The negative thoughts crept in:

• I’m not doing enough.
• I’m falling behind, not compared to others, but compared to myself.

For a while, these thoughts consumed me. So much so that I had to go back to the basics – pull out a diary and a pen, and write everything down. I listed the questions swirling in my mind and forced myself to answer them, one by one.

That’s when I realized the truth staring back at me.

It was all in my head.

Everything was going exactly as planned. I had mapped this transition out in advance, anticipated these challenges, and yet, my mind refused to let go of the old habits of constant hustle.

The Power of Stopping

After confronting those thoughts head-on, my perspective shifted. Instead of focusing on what I had lost, I started seeing what I had gained.

I realized something simple yet profound – hitting the brakes was the best thing I could have done.

Stopping gave me clarity.
It allowed me to reassess my priorities.
Most importantly, it gave me time to listen to myself.

Because I paused, I didn’t just get physically better – I found a business idea that actually felt like home.

The kind of work I could fully commit to.
The kind of work where I felt like I belonged.

Sometimes, We Need to Stop Running

We are all running—toward our goals, our dreams, and our ambitions. And that’s how it should be.

But every once in a while, we need to pause and ask ourselves:

• Why am I running?
• Is this truly what I want?
• Am I moving in the right direction, or am I just running for the sake of running?

Life has a way of passing us by when we’re too busy chasing something we haven’t even taken the time to define.

At the end of the day, it’s not just the destination that matters – it’s the journey, the people, and most importantly, it’s you.