Insecurity – Part 3: The Day I Put My Life on the Line

A Quiet Satisfaction Before the Storm

After a long, beautiful day, I returned to our hotel with a rare kind of satisfaction—one that comes from knowing you’ve fought a battle and still have the strength to go again. I had already challenged my biggest insecurity twice that day, and now I was ready for the final round. The only question was—where and how?

A Detour Through Kullu

The next morning, we set out for Kullu. We visited a shawl factory, did some shopping, and I tucked that lingering thought—the last round—somewhere deep in the back of my mind. I decided to just be in the moment.

But as SRK rightly said in Om Shanti Om:

“अगर किसी चीज को दिल से चाहो तो पूरी कायनात उसे तुमसे मिलाने की कोशिश में लग जाती है!”

And that’s exactly what happened.

The River Calls

Our next adventure was river rafting. Ten of us signed up—four aunties, two little girls, the couple, the solo traveler bro, and me. We split into two groups of five. My boat had one of the little girls, the couple, solo traveler bro, and myself.

As the captain gave us the instructions, my inner Luffy was screaming with excitement. When we launched, I yelled:

“Ikazoooo Yarodomo!!”

I had already asked the tour coordinator to record this moment for me. Phones weren’t allowed, so I made sure mine was in his hands.

An Unmissable Opportunity

The captain briefed us on safety—how to sit, when to hold the rope, what to do during turbulence. Every time he said hold on, I just… didn’t. I wasn’t scared. Solo traveler bro noticed and gave me a mini-lecture. But you know me.

Then the captain said, “If you want to get into the water, we’ll let you jump when it’s safe.”

And there it was – the final round life had planned for me.
Everything in me knew I had to jump.

Why? Because the previous two times I faced my insecurity, I had no choice. This time, it had to be my decision.
Jumping into that river meant putting my life into someone else’s hands—literally.

The Jump of Faith

I told the captain I wanted to jump.
He said no – it was risky. Everyone else said the same.

But I pushed. I asked him again. And again.
Finally, in a calm stretch of water, the captain said:

“You can jump, but it’s your risk. I won’t be responsible.”

With the biggest smile, I replied:

“अरे सर जी, बहुत जी लिए, अब कूदना है!”

Cool last words, right?

And I jumped.

Panic, Survival… and Victory

Three seconds in, my life jacket came loose.

But I held the rope. Panic kicked in, but so did survival.

I struggled for a moment—then I remembered why I jumped.
I shouted to the captain and my friend to pull me up. They did.
One grabbed my arm, the other my leg, and within 20 seconds, I was back.

I flung the jacket aside and screamed:

“YAHOOOOO!”

I had done it.
I had put my life on the line – and won.
That insecurity would never have power over me again.

After the cheers and laughter settled, the captain looked at me, shook his head with a grin, and said,
“From now on, this boat will be called Mr. Cool.”

A Secret I’m Keeping

There’s something else I felt in those two seconds—a fleeting, powerful experience that I’ve chosen to keep to myself.
It’s mine. And it will stay mine.

People were furious at me. Why did I do it?

I didn’t explain.

I just smiled and said:

“I had to.”

Karma and Coffee

Solo traveler bro was the most pissed off. She was angry—because she cared. I did everything to make her laugh and forgive me.

What worked?

The tour guide accidentally spilled hot coffee on my thigh. I screamed. She laughed.

“Karma got you!” she said.

The tour guide smiled and said:

“To see her smile like that, I’ll spill 100 cups of coffee.”

I replied, “Do it on your own thighs, bro, not mine!”
Everyone burst out laughing.

And Life Moves On…

From that moment on, life continued like nothing happened.
The trip, the laughter, the routine resumed.

But me? Well, with one jump, I had altered the course of my life.